“You just became a completely different person.” my partner said to me as I hung up from a work call. I didn’t think much of it at the time, we all act differently depending on the situation don’t we? It wasn’t until a few months later, when our class was tasked with considering the multiple identities we use each day that I actually stopped to give it some thought.
There’s a lot more to our identities then just acting differently at work and at home, we assume multiple different identities throughout the day, and when those identities cross over it can be a shock for those who think they know us, and a complicated situation for us to navigate.
“A man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry an image of him in their mind. To wound any one of these images is to wound him. But as the individuals who carry the images fall naturally into classes, we may practically say that he has as many different social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups …”
–William James, 1890, The Principles of Psychology
Recognizing and understanding our multiple identities is something not widely discussed or taught outside of university, and even then it is mostly contained within social sciences, even then there is still a lack of in depth research, despite evidence of identity awareness improving creativity and problem solving skills in children, and can provide benefits in the workplace work.
The first step to understanding my identities was to take the time to map out the different social groups I interact with. Then using some self reflection (and a mind mapping program) I took the time to draw out each identity with a few simple points on my identity from that groups perspective.
Although I had some idea of the multiple identities I assume, it wasn’t until I saw them in front of me that it struck me how much our identities can shift as we interact with different social groups. That goofy, caring but disorganised person at home, somehow became a highly professional, driven and organised person at work. The laid back, easy going mate becomes the anxious but excited student when he signs into the university canvas. These changes are far from subtle, but to me they happened without a second thought, until now.
My next step on this journey, was to consider how social media effects my identities. In many ways we use the same identities, in real life and online. However social media sometimes can cross over identities, just like when both our work and family identities are exposed in real life. To do this we created a digital identity matrix to see an overview of our social media accounts, and get an idea of how our different personalities are placed within them.
Accounts that I used for gaming and communicating with friends tended to be open and public with the way I communicated on them also matching the easy going style of my “Friend” identity. The accounts I used to communicate with family tended to be much more private with their profiles locked down and invisible to outsiders, I’m definitely not the public family photo sharing type! Those used in my professional life were only public when necessary to function, with some such as Facebook sitting on the line between my professional and personal identities, showing that I use Facebook to communicate to different social groups, with different styles depending on if that post will be visible to my family or my university and work groups, and conveniently keeping my Student, Husband and Brother identities separate!
Thinking on how I use these identities has also led me to consider how different the people I interact with each day may actually be when they are at home, or with friends, compared to the identity they show to me. I hope to make use of this knowledge to increase my compassion and improve the way I interact with others, especially now I know that accepting and utilising our multiple personalities can both reduce anxiety and improve the effects of our interactions.
I will continue to use these blog posts to explore my identities, as well as document the progress of my Bachelor of Cybersecurity and Behaviour. Next up, what makes me uncomfortable! (Besides writing public blogs that is…)
